Stealing Beauty
Chapter 5

There are always feelings or a voice inside us, that can help lead us toward what we really need as we search for direction and self discovery.
Feeling unhappy or depressed can result from both the unresolved past and or current events.
It is also true that when we sense there is something we need and we begin to act on it, the door will open. Change is waiting just outside of it.

Grace looked at her face in the mirror again and saw the depth of her sadness. The tears of anger and feelings of shame for not expecting more for herself.
Her confusion and pain from somewhere inside perhaps more than she could fully understand.
She closed her hands into a fist and slammed them down on the edge of the sink thinking to herself, “I have to change my life.”
She turned on the shower, removed her robe and stepped in.
The water felt like a sort of baptism of her spirit and she turned her face up to it as it poured down and washed away her tears.

I sat on the park bench a while longer. The sun began to warm the air and it had that clean fresh smell of renewal that can only happen in spring.
The conference started tomorrow and I really didn’t care one way or the other.
Those days when I found so much pleasure in my work had slipped into a sort of disillusionment about so many things that can die within us and do, all the time.
I wasn’t depressed, I was passed letting things as meaningless as that affect me that deeply.
I wanted what was left of my journey to be as joy filled as possible and focusing on negative thoughts was not the path to take.
Making separations from them takes conscious recognition and disciplined thinking.
This new world we are being driven toward is just as terrifying, with all of its unknowns, as any other time in our history.
Like the discovery of making fire and all that would follow it.
My place in it? Just another sub atomic particle in an ever expanding universe, where everything is moving away from everything else at the speed of light.

Grace wrapped her hair in a towel and dried herself off. She sat down on the toilet considering what comes next.
She will have to confront Mike and everything that just happened.
Should she apologize? Why, he deserved every bit of that slap.
Still that isn’t the whole story he can be so caring and loving in his way. Maybe its just me and whatever the hell is going on inside of me.
She stands up and slowly opens the bathroom door.
Mike stands up from the couch looking at her with a pained look on his face.
Grace is about to apologize as they walk toward each other when Mike says,”What he hell is wrong with you are you having your period?”
Grace feels her heart drop and she suddenly has nothing to cling to anymore.
Her expression changes from one of hopeful anticipation to a sort of bewildered resolve and disappointment.
As she starts to walk past him he grabs her arm. She looks directly at him with the flash of anger on her face and yanks her arm away and goes into the bedroom slamming the door behind her.

I stop at the front desk of my hotel and ask if there were any messages and the concierge says no sir but your suit was pressed and it is in your room hanging in the closet.
“Thank you.” and I proceed to the elevator.
The door opens and it is empty, as the door starts to close a woman about my same age is attempting to enter so I reach out and stop the door from closing.
She is very attractive wearing a business suit and her blouse open just enough to appreciate the shape and size of her breasts.
She catches me glancing at them and smiles coyly.
“Thank you for holding the door.” she says as she seems to check me out as well.
“You"re welcome. What floor? “ Oh she says, Five please.”
“I think we’re neighbors.” I reply as I press the button I already pressed.
There is that moment of awkward silence and she says, Traveling alone?’” with more than just a hint of an unexposed meaning.
I look at her directly with a little smile trying to disguise itself on my face.
“Yes and no.” I reply she looks at me a little disappointedly.
“I am traveling with my partner.” as I pat the leather satchel slung over my shoulder.
She looks down and laughs, “I see, well I hope you two are having fun together.”
“No such luck this one is all about work, work, work.”
She laughs again as the bell rings and the door begins to open. We step out and she looks at me with a mischievous look in her eyes and says,”Well, if you can get away from her and she pauses for a second, Perhaps we can meet for a drink later downstairs.”
I hold back from answering as we stand there for a moment and I can see in her eyes the younger girl inside her that is still a little unsure of herself.
That type of innocence is very seductive.
I look right into her eyes and say, "That will depend on my partner feeling satisfied with my attention, but I never have any problem meeting those expectations.” then I smile and she puts her hand up to her chest and looking me up and down playfully says, ”Oh my I am sure you do”
And laughs gently as we look at our room cards and then back at each other again.