Captain Q Cumber:
Given today's Half Nekkid Wednesday's theme is July 30: Do Your Own Thing/Cucumbers, I'm going to tell you about my feud with my nemesis, Captain Q Cumber.
Ever since I got to know him, Captain Q Cumber has been increasingly jealous of my English cucumbers I grow in my back garden. His jealousy got so bad one time that, in the middle of the night, he crept into my garden and destroyed all my fine English cucumbers. After that incident, I took out a restraining order against him and Captain Q Cumber is no longer allowed to be within a mile of my home.
However, things took a sinister turn yesterday. After I got up and went downstairs to check for any post delivered, I found a card on the floor of my porch. The card was an invitation for a duel with Captain Q Cumber at dawn today. The invitation card was stamped so it was delivered by the postman and not by Captain Q Cumber; the restraining order was at least being respected,
I decided to accept the invitation for a duel as I wanted rid of Captain Q Cumber as a scourge of my life.
Armed with my finest English cucumber freshly harvested from my garden, I went to the appointed destination about half a mile's walk from my house. At this stage, I wasn't concerned about Captain Q Cumber breaching the terms of the restraining order. This was my chance to lay waste to Captain Q Cumber.
Precisely at dawn, and while both brandishing sharpened cucumbers, Captain Q Cumber and I faced other about ten yards apart. Immediately and calmly, I charged at him and with one deft blow I sliced Captain Q Cumber in half. After checking his pulse, Captain Q Cumber was indeed slain.
Below is a photo of me half-naked eating a cucumber sandwich for lunch today!
Eating a Captain Q Cumber sandwich:
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16 comments
Victory must’ve tasted divine 😂
Victory tasted great!
After seeing the Hamilton musical I've been reading up on Alexander Hamilton. Duels were quite common back then! But I have not come across any cucumber duels.
Cucumber duels are quite common in England!
You rock my friend..Happy Hump Day to you I hope it continues to be a very happy and sexy one..
It's a happy day so far!
When I was working in England the cucumber sandwiches were one if my favorite. One of the few that came without being drowned in mayo.
The British aren't so keen on mayonnaise in their sandwiches as Americans are.
@spunkycumfun I remember you got either butter or mayo when I would go the the sandwich shops. They always looked at me crazy when I said neither but I'll take mustard lol
@anmlmn English mustard, as you know, is hot!
@spunkycumfun yes. Love it!!!!!
@anmlmn I love it too.
Cucumbers can be useful in multiple ways ...
The English cucumber is most versatile!
@spunkycumfun well... Scottish ones are not bad either
@AuraAviatik6 I hear, but they're more difficult to grow!
Mmm ..... Spunky. Big grin, "Do your own thing", so why not "cucumbers!" Oh and they can make a delish sandwich - just curious, but have you had a "Battle of cucums yet?
I definitely want a battle of cucums!
I'm worried about you. These fantasy stories are just getting more and more elaborate. 😀
Happy HN-C.
And hopefully more believable!
I blame my retirement!
@mufdiver69er2 Captain Q Cumber destroyed last year's cucumber harvest!