After a long day of two rounds of golf, the American President was driven back to his Mar-a-Lago home. Donald Trump decided to retreat to his gold-plated bedroom to watch some hard-core porn. His wife, Melania Trump, decided to remain in her own private and very securely-locked bedroom.
Donald Trump decided to watch some clown porn. (There is such a porn genre!) Much to his surprise, a documentary about clownfish was streamed to one of his many wall-mounted giant televisions. Rather than switch the documentary off and watch Fox News airing on another television, the President's was piqued by what the documentary's narrator was saying. Clownfish change sex. Donald Trump not surprisingly was concerned and decided to watch the documentary even though it was over two minutes long!
Clownfish live in small groups amongst sea anemones. The fish are immune to the sting of sea anemones so they don't get eaten by them. Each group of clownfish consists of one breeding female, always the biggest fish of the group, and several males. The second largest fish of the group is the breeding male with the rest being non-breeding males.
When the female fish dies, the breeding male changes sex and takes her position in the group, with the next biggest clownfish becoming the breeding male. This process is known as sequential hermaphroditism. Several other fish, like black grouper, blue-headed wrasse, gilt-head bream and spectacled parrotfish, also change sex.
Horrified at the implications that clownfish could promote sex changes amongst Americans and become an emblem for trans activists, and despite being midnight, the American President phoned Susie Wiles, the White House Chief of Staff.
"Susie", Trump thundered, "I want you to organise an executive order to be drafted banning clownfish from America for me to sign when I return to the White House." "Yes Mr President", Susie Wiles replied.
"I want ICE to be sent to all aquaria to confiscate these clownfish. I want the Navy to go on a search-and-destroy mission for clownfish living in American waters, make that Cuban waters as well. I want clownfish never to be taught in American schools and colleges. And I want the FBI to round up any clownfish breeders and clownfish researchers to be sent to that nice prison in El Salvador. And I want the Secretary of Health, what's the loser's name?, to issue a press release that Chinese clownfish were the cause of covid and that African clownfish are the cause of ebola." "Yes Mr President", Susie Wiles wimpered while audibly yawning.
"Oh Susie, I want all other pervert fish named in my executive order as well as those evil clownfish. How's the ballroom coming along? I don't want to hear about Iran unless I've been given a present. But did my very good friend Xi give me a better welcome than my other dear friend, Vladimir, when we both visited Beijing? We're all such good friends, I'm surprised we didn't meet up at the same time to promote world peace. Is FIFA giving me another Peace Prize at the World Cup?"
Donald Trump's phone call abruptly ended when one of his stubby mushroom-shaped fingers hit the wrong button on his gold-plated phone.
PS. It seems I may have embellished some of this story though clownfish are immune to the sting of sea anemones, they do live in small groups with only one female fish, and the breeding male clownfish does change sex when the female clownfish dies! The rest is parody.
17
17 comments
He will probably send the clownfish to Alcatraz. They will be put in an aquarium with dirty water and only be fed once a month.
Hopefully there'll be another escape from Alcatraz if that happened!
Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if this would actually happen 😂
It is within the realms of Trumpian possibility!
Funny, I was reading the part about the clownfish to HWD (not mentioning the rest of the post) and his response was, "Does Trump know about this?"
I suspect Trump doesn't know that, it's not that he's knows about much. He must be the most ignorant American President ever, well at least since the First World War when my knowledge goes back to.
The title made me chuckle and even embellishing some of the story it is a good embellishment and really sounds like something the orange turd would do. Lol. Would you like him? I don't think a lot of people would, but would like too try and no I don't have any money to pay anyone to take him.
Every morning I have to wake up to Trump. It's never a good start to the day. One day it's peace in Iran, the next day it''s not. I suspect Trump is playing the markets rather than the problem at hand.
He's clueless, he's out of his depth. Regarding Iran, his intervention has arguably left Iran in a stronger position than before his intervention. This is the man who tore up Barack Obama's deal with Iran, that took years to negotiate, because he thinks he can do better. Both the UN and the CIA said that Iran wasn't developing a nuclear weapon under Obama's deal.
Trump needs to realise an international deal isn't the same as a property deal. Iran is running rings around Trump. He'll be lucky to get a deal which if one happens, I suspect will be very similar to the Obama deal which he ripped up. Trump's totally out of his depth. He may be very powerful as American President but he's not the brightest button in the drawer.
@spunkycumfun It’s not so much that he thought he could do better, it’s more that is was Obamas treaty. No one in this country has the balls to bring up your him that he fucked up nor will they compare anything he gets discussion on being inferior and the price tag of it. It should be pushed in his face everytime that his offering is a worse deal.
@Terracamo814 His thing with Obama and others clouds his judgement.
Lol
I can imagine this happening. It's like when Donald Trump announced tariffs on an island only occupied by penguins. If penguins aren't safe, clownfish aren't!
@OddsAgainst It's quite incredible the Trump administration did this. It doesn't say for much for its research capability even if a White House intern was behind it, but then research is fake news!
@OddsAgainst Me too. It's quite a sad state of affairs.
He is the only CLOWNFISH there is lol. I hope your Monday continues to treat you well..
He's definitely the biggest clown around!
Who is the clown? the fish? or ....
The real clown is the one who lives in a white house!
Thanks god fir the PS. Whew! LoL! I was really concerned about Nemo. Might as well still may happen, Im telling'ya LOL!
Nemo's not safe in America!
@spunkycumfun But baby, other than straight white males, no one really is. Screw Mar-a-Lagi clowns. Long live clownfishes!
@ManniOfTheIsle I just wish a clownfish was the American President!
@spunkycumfun Ha! That would be poetic LOL!
HA. the joke is on you! The Big Orange Baby didn't go to Mar-a-Lago to golf this weekend, nor even to golf in New Jersey. He stayed in DC. Were I the Iranians, this would have made me VERY nervous, but maybe that was the point.
Where Trump was over the weekend was just a trifling detail in the parody.
Wonderful "embelishment" of an entirely unscrupulous and immoral sphincter muscle of the least civilized form !!
I'll wear the 'unscrupulous and immoral' badge with honour!