Stop! Were you aware you can buy super-quiet vibrators these days? Also you really don’t need to wear that crap when you’re on your own either
Just started uni? Needing some stress relief without your hall mates questioning that loud buzzing noise through the paper-thin walls (it was just your electric toothbrush, right?)
If you’re looking for a vibrator with a discreet sound, you’re not alone.
Many sex toy companies have designed whisper-quiet vibrators that are no louder than the hum of your mobile’s vibration.
Bullets
If you’re looking for pocket-sized pleasure that you can travel with or hide in an instant, a bullet vibe is the way to go.
Lovehoney Silencer Bullet (£24.99)
Lovehoney’s Silencer bullet offers six powerful vibration settings with a whisper-quiet motor.
It’s waterproof, has a travel lock so it won’t accidentally turn on, and can be recharged easily via a USB port.
Lovehoney Dream Bullet (£10)
If you’re looking for something cheaper, go with the Dream Bullet.
The Dream offers 10 quiet battery-powered vibration settings and is waterproof.
Rocks Off Ammunition RO-80mm Erotic Ink Bullet (£12.99)
Well, just look at it.
The tattoo-inspired design makes the bad boy lover in me swoon.
It has three speeds, four patterns and a waterproof design.
Internal Vibrators
Internal vibrators typically have bigger motors and a larger vibrating surface, so they are often louder than bullets.
However, there are still some great choices.
Lovehoney Silencer Vibrator (£16.99)
Just like Lovehoney’s Silencer Bullet, this is powerful yet nearly silent.
It has a slim, 7 inch design.
It also offers powerful vibration settings with a twist base. It’s waterproof, textured and battery-powered.
Tracey Cox Supersex Pleasure Wand (£9.99)
If you’re on a budget, go with the Tracey Cox Supersex Pleasure Wand.
Although it has a silly name, this vibrator is petite, powerful and nearly silent.
Just don’t use it in the bath – it’s not waterproof.
Doc Johnson Mood G-Spot Vibrator (£19.99)
If you want a quiet g-spot vibrator, go with the Doc Johnson Mood.
This slim vibrator has an angled head that is perfect for hitting your pleasure zones.
It’s powerful, compact, nicely designed, and waterproof.
Rabbits
Rabbits are the loudest vibrators of all, as they have two moving parts.
But, with a bit of research, you can find an incredible, nearly silent rabbit.
Lovehoney Happy Rabbit Natural (£49.99)
This rabbit features silky smooth silicone, powerful vibrations and, of course, a quiet motor.
Best of all, this vibrator has three motors – two of which can be controlled independently, for a unique experience.
It is rechargeable, waterproof, and also comes with a storage pouch.
Lovehoney Happy Rabbit G-Spot (£49.99)
The Happy Rabbit G-Spot is nearly identical to the Happy Rabbit Natural, except that it’s tip is curved to hit your g-spot.
LELO Insignia Soraya (£128.99)
Ok, so you may be better off saving your student loan for, well, food and stuff.
Still, the Insignia Soraya is luxury at it’s finest.
It offers powerful vibrations across two motors, a whisper silent motor, a sleek design and a flexible tip that allows the vibrator to conform to your body.
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I make tiny models of beetles holding sex toys for a living
THEN THIS: I create 17cm miniatures of beetles holding sex toys for a living PA Real Life
Shelby Walton makes miniatures of dead beetles ’embracing their sexuality’
A US artist has found a niche making miniatures of dead beetles holding sex toys.
Shelby Walton, from Denver, Colorado, has created more than 1,000 artworks using beetles and other insects that they take apart and put back together in human like positions.
The miniatures started off ‘pretty tame’ they said, but have evolved to become more complex and ‘dirtier’ over time.
Many are centred around the idea of sexual freedom and taking what is often frowned upon and celebrating it.
‘I’ll have bugs embracing their sexuality in a dirty scene,’ Shelby said.
‘I made a bug that is sitting, using a vibrator, and smoking a vape,.’
‘I also made a gender-bending bug, which is wearing high heels but it’s got a big dick and is holding a used condom and handcuffs.
‘Or I’ll have words like whore and slut, which are used to describe people in derogatory ways, and flip it on its head by putting it with a beautiful butterfly.
PA REAL LIFE: Shelby Walton, makes miniature bug sculptures from insects riding bicycles to 'gender-bending' beetles. Shelby made a 'gender-bending' beetle wearing high heels and holding handcuffs and a condom.
‘That way it kind of takes the sting away from the word and adds a beautiful element to it.
‘I’m a queer artist, so a lot of my frames and phrases have to do with being gay and I think we’ve experienced a lot of hate in the community.’
Shelby, who is in their 20s, was raised by religious parents in a religious area in Colorado Springs but refused to follow their parents’ faith.
They said their dislike of organised religion and the ideas it spreads has also influenced their art, adding: ‘I wanted an element of control over my own life and sexuality, all of the things which the bible tells you are bad.
‘The bible tells you that homosexuality is a sin, that wives are the property of their husbands, that sex before marriage is bad…
‘So I take all of these old-fashioned and religious ideas and I turn the opposite of that into art.’
When Shelby was 16 and suffering from depression, they attended a Christian wilderness therapy programme for ‘troubled teenagers’ in Georgia.
The one-year programme is designed to help teenagers escape bad influences and daily struggles in a wilderness environment.
‘Cut off from the world,’ it was here that Shelby developed a passion for pressing plants and collecting dead insects.
After completing the programme in 2015, which they described as the ‘worst f** year’ of their life, Shelby began brainstorming ideas for what to do with their collection and the insect miniatures were born.
Beetles are some of their favourite bugs to work with due to their variety and sturdiness, although they also use butterflies, moths, mantises and scorpions.
They order the insects from ‘sustainable sanctuaries’ in Peru and Madagascar, and thrift for miniature objects locally.
Usually, they design the setting before breaking off the bugs’ legs and gluing them back together in the desired position.
‘That’s kind of my specialty at this point, being able to manipulate them and move their bodies in the ways that I need,’ they said.
Each sculpture takes Shelby between two and eight hours to create depending on how intricate they are
They sell their miniatures, which sit under glass domes or in frames,at craft markets and online through social media.
Although they have a lot of fans – a picture of a urinating beetle recently got more than 20,000 likes on Instagram – Shelby acknowledged some people ‘don’t get it
‘I’ve had people walk up and be like, ‘Oh that’s what it is’ and then make a really sour face and walk away,’ they added.
‘I’ve also had people walk up with their kids before and say, “No honey, not this one”.’
But Shelby added: ‘I like having conversations with people [like this] and being able to share my side of things, so that maybe they think differently about it.’
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The future of sex toys is gender-neutral
Young african woman with short hair. Portrait of beautiful androgen african woman. Abstract female portrait, full face. Stock vector illustration in flat style.
Binary shminary
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Inclusion is vital, and even industries that make products tailored to specific genitalia like, say, the sex toy industry, are catching up with that need.
Times are a-changing to be sure, but those who operate outside the gender binary are still fighting for adequate representation.
When it comes to the sex toy industry, the cis binary is slowly being chipped away to make room for more inclusivity.
Cecile Gasnault, Brand Director at Smile Makers, tells us: ‘The way human sexuality has been traditionally represented and researched is still very heteronormative and penetration-centric.
‘This has been doing disservice to a lot of people. In the UK, only 16% of vulva-owners climax through penetrative stimulation, and that misrepresentation of vulva pleasure is a big factor in explaining the orgasm gap for cisgender heterosexual women.
‘Additionally, the heteronormative representation of sex leaves out many other sexual expressions that simply cannot identify with it.
‘By extension, the product offering in the sex toy industry has for a long time been a reflection of this narrow and partial understanding of human sexuality.’
She adds: ‘Deconstructing gender roles in the bedroom plays an important role to build a more inclusive and more pleasure-positive society.
‘When people’s individual preferences are validated and self-exploration is enabled whatever your gender expression or sexual identity, it allows people to write their own sexual journey based on what works for them instead of standards that are given to them.
‘Instead of excluding or negating their experiences, it empowers them.
‘The pleasure product offering should cater for this more real and authentic understanding of human sexuality, and this is why gender-neutral products are important.’
In fact, this is already creeping its way into the present, with some brands offering more gender-inclusive toys.
Smile Makers recently rebranded and redesigned their original collection, with the two toys with previously gendered names in the bunch becoming gender-neutral – the clit and labia stimulating Fireman become The Firefighter and the tongue-shaped Frenchman turned into The French Lover.
The vibrators page on their website also says the toys are designed ‘for people with vulvas’ rather than ‘for women’, as women aren’t the only ones who have vulvas.
Hand drawn vector illustration in modern abstract style of a happy non binary face. Abstract modern androgynous face portrait.
Cecile says: ‘Gender-neutral products allow for more experimentation and fluidity’
Kate Moyle, sex and relationship expert for Lelo says: ‘We are already seeing sex toys hitting the market which are less binary and more based around sensuality and pleasure – rather than being designed for a specific gender.
‘The future of sex toys and sex tech is moving quickly, and innovation, pleasure and inclusivity are top of the agenda, which [sextech expert] Bryony Cole often talks about.’
For anyone looking for a recommendation, she says Lelo’s Alia is ‘the perfect addition to all over body touch and stimulation, building up desire and anticipation for both partners.’
On the importance of having gender-free toys in the bedroom, Cecile says: ‘Gender-neutral products allow for more experimentation and fluidity.
‘A sex toy can be gender-neutral by its design, allowing stimulation on different types of anatomy, and/or by the way it is explained.
‘At Smile Makers, most of our products are designed to be used on parts of the vulva or the vagina, regardless of the gender of the vulva-owner.
‘Our French Lover, a tongue vibrator, can be used on all anatomies and The Ballerina, which is originally a vulva vibrator, can be used to massage the prostate.’
No matter what toys you use, Kate says: ‘The important thing, as always is that if you are using toys with a partner that you communicate with each other if there are any body parts that you do not want touching or would rather have avoided; and are able to set clear boundaries and have them heard.’
Where to buy sex toys any gender can use
Feel like doing a little shopping? Here are some gender-non-specific toys that you can enjoy solo or with a partner regardless of how either of you identify.
Ohnut
These little rings interlock over the shaft of whatever you or your partner wants to be penetrated with to stop anything from going too deep – perfect for people with endometriosis, adenomyosis or who are experiencing post-partum pain (Picture: Ohnut)
Price: $65 (£46.10)
Get it from: Ohnut
Fin
A vibrator specifically for fingers that you can use to tease someone with a penis and/or bring someone with a clit to climax (Picture: Dame)
Price: $85 (£60.28)
Get it from: Dame
b-Vibe Rimming Butt Plug
This remote-controlled butt plug is designed to feel like you’re being rimmed too (Picture: Lovehoney)
Price: £99.99
I got caught using wifes vibrator by wife and her friend. I was using it over boxers
Hello
A good blog ✨️ Very informative 👍 👌
Forget instant satisfaction, the Luna Smart Bead is about long term pleasure.
The Luna Smart Bead isn’t your usual sex toy.
Because the latest product by Swedish sex toy brand LELO claims to be ‘the world’s first personal pleasure training device’.
Basically, it’s a vibrator with brains, and its aim is to help women reach their orgasm potential (which incidentally is our new favourite potential).
So, how does it work?
Well after making an initial assessment of your current orgasm force, the Luna Smart Bead sets you a personalised kegel exercise routine, which it guides you through using vibrations.
The more you practise the stonger your pelvic floor will get, which in turn will help you reach peak climax.